February

I've never like February much, it's the month of endless bills and appointments.  This year it's been really busy and life has been made more complicated by flooding - not here on the hills, of course, but all the ways to the other places one might want to go, colds and other minor ailments, and, more pleasantly, the builder suddenly appearing to start the work we want done on the house. We now have a nicely tiled hall - so much easier to keep clean after pram wheels or the influx of 10 members of the U3A.

When M died we said we would refit her old bathroom - scene of many a battle and covered in holes where hand rails had fitted - especially because the shower has leaked onto the hall ceiling.  After the builder had done the hall,  he  estimated about 3 weeks to a month until he could start.  I'd found fixtures and fittings but not ordered  as I was waiting to get H's opinion and he's also been rather busy and beset by the problems of changing computer.   Last week I thought I'd got lots of time to do some more on M's estate paperwork, have coffee with a couple of friends - both met through blogging, and start ordering bathrooms. On the face of it there was only just one day of babysitting.  Of course, plans like that are fated, and although I did get to meet up with both friends, everything else was put on hold whilst I raced up to rural Essex to see my brother who hasn't been well.  On my return, Grandpa having manfully had a babysitting morning on his own, I was met with the news that the bathroom is happening next week, leaving me 10 days to order everything and arrange a skip! February was coming to a rather hectic end

So, now we're in March. Everything is now on order and fingers crossed it'll all arrive as promised.  Compromise came into play - couldn't get the bath we wanted with a hinged, not fixed screen and finding a basin to fit the existing tailor-made unit was a big headache.  We've gone plain white for the wall tiles as we couldn't agree on a colour but the room is very dark and that will look clean and bright.  It will be lovely to have two bathrooms again and as the bedroom isn't in use it should all be quite non-invasive - unlike the hall where we were marooned either in the kitchen or the sittingroom.  Having to stay in all week for deliveries means I might get a good go at the paperwork and that would be one less thing hanging over us.

Meanwhile, thank goodness for drier weather and some sun - Judith and I sat outside in her garden on Saturday morning and my trip to Essex and back was pleasanter for dry roads.  Waiting now for daughter to come and collect her cat who's been here on 'holiday' while they went to in-laws, so nothing will get done once Grand-daughter arrives.  Grandpa has gone to 'blow' an organ for a famous organist so he'll come back exhausted.

Taking advantage of H's absence, I was inspired to change the loose covers on the sofas and armchair in the sitting room.  I hate doing it, it's such a battle, especially the armchair.  I'm pleased to have my nice pale blue covers back and the pink ones are revolving in the washing machine.  I hope they will shrink a little as they'd gone a bit saggy.  I'm now working up the energy to change sheets and disembowel a cupboard that needs to be emptied to access the plumbing for the new bathroom.

 I fear when the new tiles arrive (hopefully later today) they won't be put straight into the garage but left on a pallet at the kerb and will all have to be moved.  This new clause in so many delivery terms stating that delivery men may not enter premises because of  insurance regulations is a new one to me.  The large fragile items have been ordered as 'two men white glove service' (which brings visions of country house footmen) and they should deliver to the room of our choice and unpack and check the condition of everything - an extra cost of course.

Hopefully, by the time I get to do another post, the bathroom will be in progress.  I'm off to scavenge in the fridge for some lunch - shopping has been a bit haphazard the last week or so, but there are always eggs...

EDIT :  I have maligned the poor tile delivery men!   They came on time and put all the tiles in the garage.  'We don't take any notice of the daft insurance nonsense ' they said.   Horrah for common say I.

Lists and mysteries

January has passed in a flurry of lists - things-to-do, things to buy, people to contact, things to dispose of, things to have valued. In fact, January seemed to go on much too long and I'm glad February has come at last - might we now get rid of the wet weather and flooding worries?

Ebay has come up trumps - we have now got stairs without a stairlift, a completely empty room where an adjustable bed once sat, and H has said good-bye to a pair of chairs and replaced them with a rather smart chesterfield club chair in his study - self-interest here, if his study is more inviting he might actually use it instead of having piles of books on every surface in the sitting-room.  Floor tiles have been bought for the hall and hopefully a builder will come and put them down in a week or so, and we might have come to some agreement about re-fitting the bathroom that was M's and sorting out the shower that leaks intermittently onto the hall ceiling.


Everything to do with Probate seems to be circular - you fill in a form and they send you another form and you fill in all the same info again (they being banks, building societies, HMRC etc)  Valuations seem to take forever and again require lots of pointless information, most of which can't be provided - who knows what the purchase price of something bought in 1941 might have been and is it really a great deal of help to know when it will stand no relation to today's prices?
 Then there are the little mysteries - whose is the gold signet ring found in M's jewellery box?  H is certain his father never possessed one, but thinks it might have been his uncle's.  And the biggest mystery of all; who wrote the novel obviously typed by M and kept in typescript but equally obviously not written by her. The corrections are in a totally different hand (not that M would have brooked corrections in anything she'd written), the style so far from anything M might have conceived, and the characters exist in a world that M would have had no knowledge of.  Apart from the fact that it's called 'Play the Echo' must have been typed before electric typewriters on flimsy typing paper but is held together with plastic treasury tags, and is set in the twenties and thirties, and was more probably written by a woman, there's nothing to say who might have written it.

Miss F is walking and has acquired her first shoes - bright cerise pink with pink gingham bows, size 2G. She is very pleased with them.  She can actually say quite a lot of words including Grandpa, but prefers to point and nod and make approving or disapproving mms.  Talking is obviously unnecessary when everyone completely understands what one means, and I completely understand what's being said.

Hiding is great fun, especially when everyone pretends they don't know where you are!
We've seen rather a lot of her lately as Mummy has been very busy and there have been car problems as well so it's been easier to spend time at Granny and Grandpa's. In consequence, Granny and Grandpa have been kept busy too!

So, now we're in February and hoping to have some more exciting days which don't involve endless pouring over lists and spending time on the phone or the computer but more time out and about.  I don't think we're going to solve any of the mysteries though, there's no one left to ask.

Just been listening to the radio adaptation of Barchester Towers (Radio Four).  I don't think it will surpass the excellent television adaptation of the 1980's starring Nigel Hawthorn, Alan Rickman and Donald Pleasance and an excellent supporting cast - well worth tracking down on DVD.  We still have a VHS version which is just about watchable.  H is a Trollope fan so it's had very frequent use - we'll have to upgrade before it falls apart or fades away!

Hope you all had a good start to the year.

Out with the old

It's been a strange year.  There have been happy moments and a few when we almost despaired when we couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel.  Now we start a new year with all the usual hopes and a few worries - and still a lot of sorting out to do with M's affairs. 
Slowly things are happening - a buyer found for the stairlift, responses from various organisations which will allow us to start the long process of winding things up, and starting to feel that we might go forward.  It's hard to change your life overnight, however much one longs to, and we had been living a restricted life for five long years - almost like becoming institutionalised.  We haven't yet got used to being able to walk freely through the door, lock it behind us, and come back when we please.
Grand-daughter has changed from a small baby at the beginning of the year to a walking, sort of talking toddler who gives us a lot of pleasure and we have more time for her and our friends and family. 
The blog should really be renamed, there isn't a Me any longer.  Watch this space, who knows what we might do now - though at present getting up late, eating when we feel like it and going to bed late or early are life's greatest small pleasure.
Happy New Year to you all, I hope we all have a New Year full of happiness.

Phew, sorted.

There I was all ready to ping my accounts to the Taxman when I went to look up something on our solicitor's site and WHAM my computer was frozen by this ghastly thing -

 

 

Advanced Police Central E-Crime Unit Virus

Police Central E-Crime Unit virus belongs to ransomware whose first version was detected in May, 2006 by Websense, a filter software vendor, to ask for $200 to acquire the decipher code for encrypted files. The first version of ransomware is quite simple, there’s no national logo, flag, emblem, regulations or payment method as the case in Police Central E-Crime Unit virus attack.

  It's apparently called a UKASH or ransome virus and it completely freezes your computer and demands money to unfreeze it _ which of course it won't even if you were fool enough to pay.  After a few moments panic - the full text is pretty unpleasant - I looked up ways to remove it on my tablet.  If you are unfortunate enough to be struck DON'T fall for all the ads offering further software to do the job, some may be in cahoots with the virus sender.  Turn off your computer with the power button or at the wall.  When it comes back with a black screen, reboot in SAFE MODE.  When you get you desktop back don't panic if things are missing, click on the windows icon at the bottom left (where you go to turn your computer off) go to ALL PROGRAMS then click through ACCESSORIES, SYSTEM TOOLS, to SYSTEM RESTORE.  Restore your computer to an earlier date.  When you're up and running again, go to McAfee and download Stinger and MalwareBytes free from their site and use them to scan your computer and get rid of any thing left in your system. 

It's a truly horrid thing and I know many people who aren't computer savvy would be quite frightened by its threats and implications.  I hope my computer hasn't passed it on to anyone, and I'm at a loss to know where it came from as I'm very cautious about suspect emails and links. 

You'll be leased to know that the accounts obediently floated off into the ether to HMRC - won't heave a sigh of relief until they accept them but at least they've gone!

Hope you aren't having such a stressful time!

 

 

Thank you

Thank you so much to everyone who commented or emailed following my last post.  Your thoughts were much appreciated.  Things are a bit busy around here - I feel I've lost the last few weeks and Christmas is galloping up on me.  It's such a beautiful day today it seems a shame to be stuck inside with phone calls and paperwork to sort, but the tax man waits for no man and accounts have to be rendered then I can breathe a sigh of relief and start think about something more exciting.

 Hope you're enjoying your Christmas preparations, ours are a bit sparse this year, but we shall enjoy being quiet at home (well the one of us who is only 14 months will make plenty of noise, of course).

One of those

 

and some of these are definitely coming our way!

Oh well, everyone cross their fingers that these account will go when I press submit.......

Carpe Diem (well I do live with a classical scholar) ....

 M died on Wednesday evening after five days in hospital following the sudden onset of illness.  H and Daughter were with her.  She was 95 years old.  One of her friends said:  'If there is another place, she's probably already decided it isn't how she'd like it and not as good as W*****.' I wish she'd been happier at the end of her life, but I don't think we could have done more.

So now we have a fresh start.  We're just getting used to the idea that we can both go out at once and even together if we like. We are very, very tired after nearly five years of constant caring responsibility.  The house is cooler and very quiet and we inevitably have lots to sort out. Though her affairs were all in order, she had many friends, some as elderly as she, and they all need to be told. For many it will be a shock, as, apart from her arthritis and eye problems, she was quite well. 

Today we both met Daughter, R and Grand-daughter at a restaurant for lunch - very puzzling for Grand-daughter who hasn't ever met Granny and Grandpa anywhere together except for their own house.  Grandpa was especially regarded with suspicion and Daddy isn't usually there when Mummy and I meet Granny.  We are looking forward to trips to the swings and other places with her which we haven't been able to do up until now.

We have learnt many things from five years as carers - about ourselves and what we can and can't do, about the NHS and the caring agencies and about how difficult a person can be and how that affects their life and that of those around them at many levels. The open-ended nature of such a situation grinds one down after a while - anyone can do something that has a finite end to look forward to, but to take on something that might last two months or two years or ten years is hard.  Most of all we have learnt that we must seize the day.  M spent a lot of time brooding over things undone or things she wished she had done differently.  My family are not long-lived but whatever I do I don't want to spend an old-age in regret.  Daughter has already offered a trip away in the New Year as a Christmas present: we shall certainly be going.

Autumn morning...

A beautiful autumn morning - the sky is blue all round but looks grey in the north facing photos.  It's cold and crisp with frost on some roofs but not in our garden which is sheltered and still covered in rioting nasturtium leaves and a few flowers - they came late and show no intention of dying back.  There are leaves to sweep, again, from the decking but they won't get swept today, unfortunately, as it's going to be wet again tomorrow we're told.
I need to get out for shopping and prescriptions as I have Grand-daughter and H's U3A here class tomorrow - biscuits for U3A tea break and bananas and blueberries for Grand-daughter.  My shopping trolley often looks rather strange these days - growing-up milk and baby biscuits mingling with M's current fad - Creme de Menthe and all the strange odds and ends she eats (she prefers tinned stewing steak to home-made stews and various shop-made cakes and puddings). 
Grand-daughter has had a nasty virus which resulted in an overnight stay in hospital, quite a loss of weight, and a fortnight to get over it - it went after she had graciously given it to Mummy and Daddy, but Granny and Grandpa were spared. When she came here yesterday all her toys were taken out of the toy box and inspected and a lot of eating happened to make up for lost time - she's quite recovered.
I'm hoping this weather will hold till after lunch - no point trying to collect prescriptions until mid-afternoon.  Hope it's as nice where you are.