My older brother has just been to stay - the first time I'd seen him for about six years. He's twelve years older than I am, and when I was a child he was my favourite person. Despite, or perhaps, because of the big age gap, he always had time for me. One of my earliest memories is holding his hand and the hand of one of his friends and running fast down a hill we lived on in Bristol so that my little legs left the ground as we ran - always makes me think of Alice and the Red Queen - and I sort of flew down the hill. He must have possessed a group of teenage friends as kind as he was as I was frequently taken off on expeditions as a small child and passed from one to another to be carried home when I got tired.
When I was older, we frequently went off to steam fairs and country shows together, just the two of us or with a group of friends, and once he could drive he would collect me from late events at school or friend's parties as my father didn't drive and the last bus between where we lived then in rural Essex and the next town where I went to school left inconveniently early at 8.30 p.m. When he finished his apprenticeship and had a well paid job, he kept me in pocket-money that my parents couldn't afford and could be relied on for good advice on how to spend it and how to keep it. In a rare act of defiance of parental opinion he bought me the puppy I longed for when I was twelve (though he got to choose the breed!). Apart from the usual sibling teasing, we rarely argued and kept a united front against our fiery redheaded older sister.
About ten years ago he had a stroke - undiagnosed at first as he was having a different problem with his hand that masked it - he has lost the use in his right hand and his speech was affected and has recently worsened so phone calls became difficult. Tied as I am with caring for M, I haven't been able to visit since we moved here, so I was delighted when he and his wife decided to make the rather long trip to see us. As his balance can be uncertain, he prefers to hold someone's hand when out walking, so I have again been holding my brother's hand as we pottered around antique shops and discussed the local architecture and I hope I shall do so on many more occasions.
10 comments:
How lovely that you got to spend time together - have a wonderful visit and maybe you should neglect M once in a while and go and visit him!!
How sad that you can't see each other more often but how lovely that you still have that lovely relationship. Maybe you should do as the previous blogger says and leave M occasionally to go and visit him - he is equally your family if not more so after all!!
YES, to both the above comments. That sounds such a lovely relationship. Someone else may have to make a sacrifice so that you can sustain it.
That brought a tear to my eye! Enjoy having him with you.
What a delightful post and what a delightful relationship.
My Sisters are 9 and 13 years older than me, it was always like having 3 Mums.When I've had bad stuff to deal with they are there for me unconditionally, aren't siblings fab.
Twiggy
How lovely that you have spent this time together. A beautiful post.
Well much as I'd love to abandon M, everyone else would suffer while I was away and I'd suffer when I came back. One obviously can't get the staff these days - surely they're only entitled to one afternoon off a month aren't they. (She's been glued to re-runs of Downton Abbey and now imagines herself to be in Maggie Smith's role)
Oh Jee,
I still think it would be worth it - you need to put yourself first sometimes!!! BTW I think you are probably a saint for all you put up with!!!
how moving Jee... how wonderful too. I'm glad you got to spend time together.
Precious.
Very lovely. You have to keep seeing him more often because, well, life is uncertain. But it's hard. I remember how it was when I was looking after my (undemanding) mum. Glad you saw him, anyway. He sounds wonderful.
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