Thank you

Thank you so much to everyone who commented or emailed following my last post.  Your thoughts were much appreciated.  Things are a bit busy around here - I feel I've lost the last few weeks and Christmas is galloping up on me.  It's such a beautiful day today it seems a shame to be stuck inside with phone calls and paperwork to sort, but the tax man waits for no man and accounts have to be rendered then I can breathe a sigh of relief and start think about something more exciting.

 Hope you're enjoying your Christmas preparations, ours are a bit sparse this year, but we shall enjoy being quiet at home (well the one of us who is only 14 months will make plenty of noise, of course).

One of those

 

and some of these are definitely coming our way!

Oh well, everyone cross their fingers that these account will go when I press submit.......

Carpe Diem (well I do live with a classical scholar) ....

 M died on Wednesday evening after five days in hospital following the sudden onset of illness.  H and Daughter were with her.  She was 95 years old.  One of her friends said:  'If there is another place, she's probably already decided it isn't how she'd like it and not as good as W*****.' I wish she'd been happier at the end of her life, but I don't think we could have done more.

So now we have a fresh start.  We're just getting used to the idea that we can both go out at once and even together if we like. We are very, very tired after nearly five years of constant caring responsibility.  The house is cooler and very quiet and we inevitably have lots to sort out. Though her affairs were all in order, she had many friends, some as elderly as she, and they all need to be told. For many it will be a shock, as, apart from her arthritis and eye problems, she was quite well. 

Today we both met Daughter, R and Grand-daughter at a restaurant for lunch - very puzzling for Grand-daughter who hasn't ever met Granny and Grandpa anywhere together except for their own house.  Grandpa was especially regarded with suspicion and Daddy isn't usually there when Mummy and I meet Granny.  We are looking forward to trips to the swings and other places with her which we haven't been able to do up until now.

We have learnt many things from five years as carers - about ourselves and what we can and can't do, about the NHS and the caring agencies and about how difficult a person can be and how that affects their life and that of those around them at many levels. The open-ended nature of such a situation grinds one down after a while - anyone can do something that has a finite end to look forward to, but to take on something that might last two months or two years or ten years is hard.  Most of all we have learnt that we must seize the day.  M spent a lot of time brooding over things undone or things she wished she had done differently.  My family are not long-lived but whatever I do I don't want to spend an old-age in regret.  Daughter has already offered a trip away in the New Year as a Christmas present: we shall certainly be going.

Autumn morning...

A beautiful autumn morning - the sky is blue all round but looks grey in the north facing photos.  It's cold and crisp with frost on some roofs but not in our garden which is sheltered and still covered in rioting nasturtium leaves and a few flowers - they came late and show no intention of dying back.  There are leaves to sweep, again, from the decking but they won't get swept today, unfortunately, as it's going to be wet again tomorrow we're told.
I need to get out for shopping and prescriptions as I have Grand-daughter and H's U3A here class tomorrow - biscuits for U3A tea break and bananas and blueberries for Grand-daughter.  My shopping trolley often looks rather strange these days - growing-up milk and baby biscuits mingling with M's current fad - Creme de Menthe and all the strange odds and ends she eats (she prefers tinned stewing steak to home-made stews and various shop-made cakes and puddings). 
Grand-daughter has had a nasty virus which resulted in an overnight stay in hospital, quite a loss of weight, and a fortnight to get over it - it went after she had graciously given it to Mummy and Daddy, but Granny and Grandpa were spared. When she came here yesterday all her toys were taken out of the toy box and inspected and a lot of eating happened to make up for lost time - she's quite recovered.
I'm hoping this weather will hold till after lunch - no point trying to collect prescriptions until mid-afternoon.  Hope it's as nice where you are.

Quiet......

It's sunny outside and suspiciously quiet.  There's no wind and it's not currently raining.  I feel I should be checking everything's in place before the great storm we're told to expect, but the trees you can see belong to nextdoor and the window is a velux one in the roof on the fourth floor of our house and if the wind blows this way they may take a few slates off but I can't do anything about it.

It's quiet here today.  I appreciated the extra hour in bed though I was awake.  A leg of lamb is roasting in the oven - we rarely have a Sunday roast and it's nice to have the smell permeating the house.  There's a Quilt show on at the Three Counties Showground - I went late on Friday afternoon to avoid the crowds, and I shopped yesterday for food, so I can sit here all day if I feel like it.  I've given myself a day off - well except for cooking, obviously, and M's shower etc.  I might pop out for a paper or I might just read a book instead and get the news online.  I might start knitting a sweater for Grand-daughter or play about with the felt I bought, or I might just watch an old film.

Hope you're all having a nice peaceful Sunday.

Busy.....

Grand-daughter starting her musical education early.

It's been an exceptionally busy time these last few weeks for all of us.  Daughter has had important things happening at work and at the school where she's a governor, which has meant we've been enjoying more of Grand-daughter's company - three or four days each week since she came back from holiday, though with Mummy and even Daddy some days as well - they sneak off to work in one of our studies and we entertain GD.  I pick her up early on the days Daughter goes to work and she confidently waves goodbye when I put her in the car and usually sleeps all the way here.  Last week she had her first birthday - a quiet 'party' with us on the actual day with all three of them staying the night afterwards, and a rather more noisy and busy party with her other grandparents, aunts and cousins and members of Daddy's extended family at the weekend.  This week she's been here two days and I have been in Worcester one day as she had to have her 12 month jabs, so she's been catching up with sleep and is now back on top form after her first cold (amazing she'd managed 11 months and two weeks before getting one!

On the Thursday after the great day, Daughter and I took her into a local coffee shop mid-morning.  It was quite busy and we took a table for two with just enough space for the pram by the side with the baby facing me.  There were three people at a table at right angles to ours behind Daughter, and after we'd finished ordering, a rather familiar voice said loudly, 'I wish you'd turn that pram round so we could see that baby!'  We looked at each other a bit startled and then realized the lady sitting behind us was Maureen Lipmann who was appearing in a play at the Malvern Theatre.  She was very nice and made much of Grand-daughter, though not, we felt, in a look at me I'm a celebrity way.  The gentleman with her we didn't recognise but he had a delicious American voice and apparently provides many of the voices for characters in the Simpsons.  His name is Harry Shearer for anyone more familiar with American actors than I am.   He was co-starring in the play, Daytona, which also stars John Bowe.  We were rather sorry we couldn't go to the play after meeting two thirds of the stars!

Earlier last week H and I had a rare away-day in Birmingham to attend a celebratory concert at the Town Hall given by the Town Hall organist, .Thomas Trotter  He's a great entertainer and brilliant musician and he pulled out all the stops - almost literally - to celebrate his 30 years in the post.  It was a great recital and we enjoyed it very much.  Birmingham Town Hall is a great building and beautifully restored inside, but, as everywhere, cuts are hitting.  The box office and cafe only opens two hours before each performance  - excellent coffee, by the way, and we noticed that the ledges and decorative mouldings above head height seemed to have accumlated a good deal more dust than we'd noticed in the past.  It seemed a shame that no one had even dusted the top of the organ console - everything is clearly visible from the raked seating in the gallery - when it was a special occasion.  The colour scheme of a lilac/grey, dark grey and white is very appealing.

 M, of course, caught GD's cold and we've all suffered for that since.  Next week looks set to continue in busy mode, but half-term is on the horizon so we might get some breathing space then, with luck.  The weather today has been lovely -  warm, sunny and perfect for Autumn.  The various reports about an impending terrible Winter fill me with dread and I'm not sure whether I prefer the Met Offices assurances that no-one can predict that far ahead or feel that I must start planning what we'll do if it happens - the legacy of the 2010 weather which resulted in a burst pipe flooding our basement floor is hard to forget!    I think I must live for the day and also follow my other recent resolution to cut myself some slack - we'll it doesn't look as if anyone else is going to worry about the garden, the hoovering, the weather, the accounts etc.etc.etc........

Working backwards, we enjoyed the Autumn show - lots of goodies were purchased - mainly of an edible nature.  There was a Vintage marquee which had some very nice items, and the usual array of crafts, clothes etc. as well as the garden section.  The weather was reasonable and we indulged in many 'sit-downs' with and without refreshments.  The next thing on the agenda is the Autumn Quilts Festival on 25th-27th.  Last weekend's Flea Fair was pretty much a washout for outside stalls and not at all busy inside, in contrast to the September one which was huge and heaving with almost as many people as the bank holiday one.  There's an Antique and Collector's fair on November 3rd and I often find the prices there are more reasonable - and the coffee's nicer! 

I must just put in a word for the wonders of Memory Foam.  I found a delightful firm online called AnyFoam who will supply this in various depths cut to any size you order.  I've now been able to put extra cushions in M's adjustable chair, which has a) stopped her complaining, and b) whilst not cheap, has cost a mere fraction of a new made to measure chair.   My other great find has been Bemz.
 This lovely firm supplies loose covers for Ikea furniture of all styles - even some which Ikea no longer make.  The prices are reasonable and there's a huge choice of colours and prints.  Our Karlstad sofas now have a new lease of life with pink covers in a style that covers the legs and makes them a better match to an armchair in the same room.  The current Ikea range, apart from the white, had nothing suitable.  You can order swatches from Bemz and the actual covers take 4 weeks.  They are a good fit and very well made.  On the practical front, they're pre-shrunk, washable and treated with stain resistant. When I'm feeling flush I shall order a second set, then like a character from Barbara Pym's novels (Jane and Prudence I thnk), I can have Summer and Winter covers!  I must admit online shopping is a godsend - and GD loves boxes!

Well I think I've wittered on enough, so I won't tell you what I've knitted or sewn - especially as I haven't any photos to prove it.  I'm off to put M's pyjamas on - on her I mean - after all it's only 4 and a half hours till she goes to bed!

Autumn Update

This is Rover, being expertly pushed by Grand-daughter.   He's not the original Rover that Daughter had as a child but I was lucky to find him at a Flea Fair for £12 and he's in very good condition and already much loved by his new owner.  A few weeks ago my neighbour popped in to look at something in the garden and happened to notice Rover through the conservatory door.  'Oh,' she exclaimed, ' You've got a Rover!'.   It would seem that every small child called their dog on wheels Rover.

Grand-daughter has been off on holiday so I've had more time, most of which has been spent at home to accommodate H's musical pursuits - we still operate like the weather house couple: one in, one out. Today, again, I'm in. I did manage a trip up to see my farming friends and as well as a super lunch I gained a huge bag of damsons and about a dozen large Bramley apples.  So, somewhat unusually for this blog, I can now prove that I do actually spend time in the kitchen.

This week I have made:

 Sour Cream Apple Pie - recipe from Alicia's Blog.  It's really good and seems to have cropped up on several blogs this week!  And a traditional apple pie which I've frozen.

 The damsons finished up as this large bowl of puree, from which I made -

 Damson Curd - should have had more eggs but it worked quite well and doesn't run off the bread!

 Damson and apple sauce for yoghurt and breakfasts

and Damson cheese - sweet enough for toast unless you've a really sweet tooth but great eaten with cheese like the Spanish quince paste.

Daughter gave me cucumbers from a friend's allotment and I had a red cabbage sitting forlornly in the fridge so I made some pickles too.

 Today I'm doing baked apples for supper and I'll put the rest of the apple, sliced,  in the freezer - they really were very large even for Bramleys.   Tomorrow, I'm meeting farming friend at the Malvern Autumn show ( - thinks, should I take shopping trolley to bring home lots of foodie stuff?).  I'm hoping for more of this mild Autumn weather and no rain and I might even start to tidy up the garden which has been neglected of late and still has quite a lot in flower.  Next week, when all is back to what passes for normal here, we have a wedding anniversary, a possible day out in Birmingham at the weekend and then the following week Grand-daughter will be ONE!  Where has that year gone?  She's a great blessing in our lives, I wish I could show you all the video of her laughing, it would certainly brighten up anyone's dull day.  Must trot off now and check the visiting cat isn't in M's room as I hear mutterings from that direction.  Have a lovely weekend, whatever you're up to.

Afterthought:  Just for those who asked, Yes, M did have another birthday -95th, No, she isn't any less demanding and she hasn't mellowed with age, Yes, she still says she's going to die before her next, No, we still don't believe it for one minute and continue to believe her to be immortal.  But thanks for asking :-)

The hand that once held mine....

My older brother has just been to stay - the first time I'd seen him for about six years.   He's twelve years older than I am, and when I was a child he was my favourite person.  Despite, or perhaps, because of the big age gap, he always had time for me. One of my earliest memories is holding his hand and the hand of one of his friends and running fast down a hill we lived on in Bristol so that my little legs left the ground as we ran - always makes me think of Alice and the Red Queen - and I sort of flew down the hill.  He must have possessed a group of teenage friends as kind as he was as I was frequently taken off on expeditions as a small child and passed from one to another to be carried home when I got tired.

When I was older, we frequently went off to steam fairs and country shows together, just the two of us or with a group of friends, and once he could drive he would collect me from late events at school or friend's parties as my father didn't drive and the last bus between where we lived then in rural Essex and the next town where I went to school left inconveniently early at 8.30 p.m.  When he finished his apprenticeship and had a well paid job, he kept me in pocket-money that my parents couldn't afford and could be relied on for good advice on how to spend it and how to keep it. In a rare act of defiance of parental opinion he bought me the puppy I longed for when I was twelve (though he got to choose the breed!).  Apart from the usual sibling teasing, we rarely argued and kept a united front against our fiery redheaded older sister.

About ten years ago he had a stroke - undiagnosed at first as he was having a different problem with his hand that masked it - he has lost the use in his right hand and his speech was affected and has recently worsened so phone calls became difficult.  Tied as I am with caring for M, I haven't been able to visit since we moved here, so I was delighted when he and his wife decided to make the rather long trip to see us.  As his balance can be uncertain, he prefers to hold someone's hand when out walking, so I have again been holding my brother's hand as we pottered around antique shops and discussed the local architecture and I hope I shall do so on many more occasions.